Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
