UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
