Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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