already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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