walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
