i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We have so much sex to catch up on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
