her vagine was all disorganized.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
