You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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