I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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