u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
