ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your cock deserves a montage
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
