I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
