somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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