So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize