drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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