I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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