Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
