Where did you get a picture of my penis
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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