I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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