Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
