Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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