Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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