If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
