so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize