careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
