So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
