I feel like abortions should bother me more
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
