I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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