I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
