I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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