butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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