wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
