i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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