I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
