I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
