this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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