That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
