forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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