she woke up with a sticky ear
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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