People in love make me want to vomit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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