Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
