kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
