nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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