I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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