I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
