Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
