At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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