Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
