the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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