i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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