Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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