Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
