I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
