Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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