Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
