do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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