Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
organizing the empties. That sober.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize