there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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