I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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