batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize