I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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