My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
