it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
