Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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