God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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